Always, Rachael

Always, Rachael.  That's how she would  sign her little notes to me. Every morning I would wake with a sweet little note by the coffee maker..."Mom, please wake me up early so we can have breakfast together. Always, Rachael.

I'm going to share with you my continued 'good-byes' and 'hellos' in this blog.  My reason is simple.  It's coming upon the year anniversary of my daughter's death and what would have been her 21st birthday.  I feel I haven't even peeled back all the  layers of grieving, but even in that, I know God is protecting me. I want to share the hope that's been placed in my heart. That hope that I will still be used for Gods will and purpose.  The glorious hope, that upon my sweet daughters last words of "Father forgive me, I've sinned", that she and I will be together forever in God's eternity!

  I've never considered myself a writer, but want to walk this journey 'outloud'.  Thanks for reading. If you are going through something too, I hope you receive just what God has for you.  ~ Elle

11/1: Happy birthday in Heaven Angel Baby Rachael.  I called your cell, knowing you are not here.  As I prepare my grief journey, I read in Isaiah 31:13..'For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear, I will help you.' *Elle, remember all the ways God has helped you*

The seeds of comfort may take root in the soil of adversity.

11/2: Still doesn't seem real. 15 days since the event of her asthma attack, 7 days since her death, 3 days since her memorial. Jim the funeral guy said urn will ship tomorrow, and will take 5 to 7 days to get here.  Is God protecting my heart, as I am not grieving as I've lost others in the past or am I not who I once was.  My girl is gone-she died.  My beautiful angel baby is dead.