It may appear that things going on in your life are going to hell. And they may be, literally.
I have had a long season of EVERYTHING in my life being destroyed. Insecurity, pride, fear, hate, loneliness. Surprise! Don’t all those things belong in hell? Because that’s where they originate.
However, because they were so strongly part of my nature, it really hurt. It was like open heart surgery. They were firmly attached to my relationships, career and my day to day ‘Christian’ life. Besides, I had plenty of reasons to keep all that close by….those are the emotions many of us need to navigate through life and to get us out or in, situations. But what is learned, can be unlearned.
I went to church, had BS (bible study) in my home, was nursery director, my children went to church camp and knew the books of the bible. I stayed married no matter what. I volunteered, organized, ran a business, owned a beautiful home, employed dozens of employees and tithed. There, put that in my ‘evidence’ pile. I still felt ‘outside’ of the church ‘cliché’
I slowly started to notice the evil mist left behind by my own choices. And by the choices of others. That insipid heavy vapor that seeps in disguised as perhaps that helpful employee, that friend of your child or the regret of a decision. By doing nothing, allowing the intruder to stay, only with occasional protest or angry outburst of resistance, I learned the hard way that the Enemy sought to inflict a mortal wound. To manys observation, that appeared to happen. I will share more of what this ugly vapor looks like in a future blog. Trust me, God has allowed me to see it magnified 100 xs. He has also given me a way of escape and the tools to stop it. No matter what you are going through right now. It’s available to you too.
You know what I ultimately found out?
It was only a flesh wound. No vital organs have been hit.
The enemy is indeed a liar!
I am sometimes slow on the uptake. I feel I have to try harder than others due to my brain damage from encephalitis. It’s not my job to save my life. I am done trying to manipulate it. I gave up ownership of my life to Christ. He re-fashioned and changed my very nature, how I think and how I respond. I had a big correction. God brought a wise Christian woman to speak into my life during the worst season of death and destruction. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. Her patience at my stumbling and questions while I attended months and months of her bible study has finally seeped in. God also allowed me to reconnect to another special woman who lovingly spoke truth into my life. God is never early, but always on time. I am at peace abiding in Christ alone. I allowed a complete spiritual make-over. He is giving me the desires of my heart. A pure life, my needs met and opportunities to encourage others who appear to be mortally wounded. Appear.
~ Elle
Check out that prayer at the end of this blog!
